Crossing with the light
There's a new person in my life who is the bane of my existence. I don't know her name. I've never even officially met her. But I've seen her every morning for the past month, and she's driving me crazy.
She's the new friendly neighborhood crossing guard. She's located at the corner where I turn right every morning to drive the not-even-a-quarter-of-a-block to Boogie's preschool.
I know this woman fills an important role, holding up her hand-held stop sign to allow the little kids to cross the street on their way to school. Notice I said little kids. That's what crossing guards should be for. I'll even give her a little leeway when it comes to the young high school kids. Usually they jaywalk across the street, so if they're actually using the crosswalk, they deserve a little safe passage. I have no problem waiting until kids completely cross the street.
But that's where it ends. Crossing guards do not need to help adults cross the street. Yes, I said adults. This old woman, who is spending her last years on earth wearing a neon green plastic vest, will hold up that damned sign whenever an adult crosses the street.
This is a four-lane street that has a median that divides the two sides of the street. If an adult is crossing at the far side of the street, I still have time to make a right turn before they ever reach the median. But, this woman still feels the need to hold up the sign, and her hand, and stare you down, daring you to make that right turn.
Today, though, she sent me over the edge. She was on the far side of the street. No one was around. She decided that all of a sudden she had to be on my side of the street. So when the light turned green, she started walking back across, holding up the dreaded stop sign. Are crossing guards allowed to help themselves across the street? It sounds like a conflict of interest to me.
And did I mention she was old? It took her the entire time of the green light to cross the street. I sat there helpless, staring longingly at my daughter's preschool, knowing I wouldn't be able to make the light before the traffic started moving again on the intersecting street. Traffic, I might add, that has the luxury of a REALLY long light.
So I waited, praying a child wouldn't come up by the next green light so that I could finally make that turn. Luckily I was able to continue my journey on the next light. Is it wrong to hate a little old lady in a lime green vest?